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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Trampolines & Tough Love

Just wondering if you've had to do "the hard thing"?   Something counter-intuitive to all you know.  I have; well, still am!  And  I'd say Mom did by moving all of us from Connecticut to Texas.  In my (foolish) youth, I was resentful and thought my world was ending.   As an 8th grader in a new school, a new state as a newly divorced 13 year old (well, I wasn't divorced; my folks were)....I wanted to die.  That may be a tad dramatic but 13 year old girls do love drama.  My Speech teacher made me stand in front of the class and said:  "...this is how we do NOT speak." It was humiliating enough that I told Mom I hated Texas.  We were considered odd-birds - funny accents whose mom was (too) attractive and newly divorced. That "D" word was a phenomonon in the early '60s. Guess we were not only odd but rare birds. It was difficult.

Until she bought a trampoline.  If your kids are floundering in friendships; I'd recommend buying one.  I made some friends...dear ones who are still in my life. 

Sometimes parents have to do what it takes to hold the fam together.  I now understand Mom had to get away from it all.  Scandal and heartbreak moved her out west. 

My Guy and I are in a hard place right now.  We've had to disconnect from #2 Son - and wow, what a journey.  As resentful as I was in the 8th grade; I can imagine what our son feels.  Maybe 20 years from now we'll be reconciled...

Jumping on a trampoline would sure be fun right about now.  OR have Mom by my side.   I'd fix her an iced coffee and huddle to talk about our "hard thing."  It's not over and at this moment very much present. 

"....I want my mommy!" 


Dianne said...

Va,you are one of the best writers in blogland. This post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry you have this turmoil in your life. Life is difficult...everyone carries a different burden. We shall lean on each other. I am sending you positive vibes and many prayers. Love you so! xoxo Dianne

Vava (aka Virginia) said... are far too kind. Thank you! And....yes, we ALL have "something." xoxo

Annette said...

I miss my mom, too. Especially during the tough times. It'd surely feel good to be able to talk it through. I'm really sorry for the struggle with R, and am convinced the battle will be won on your knees. He hears. He sees. Love you, dear friend.

Pam said...

Well...first of all I've missed your blogs...keep checking to see if you've got a new one up yet. No..I have no social life..this is it!! Ok...secondly, my mom is...well...DIFFICULT! you may have read that on the teepee...your son will come back to you. I KNOW it. You are too wise and wonderful of a woman for him not to. Keep doing what you're doing are an inspiration...xoxo

Teri said...

One thing that helps me when I have difficulties with my kids, is to realize that EVERYONE does in one way or another. Some harder than others, but it helps to know you are not the only one.
I am sorry for your struggles... a mother's heart can be broken in a way only another mom understands.
And yes... God knows your name, he sees each tear that falls, and he hears you when you call...

Anonymous said...

I want your Mommy for you too. Bless you my friend. much love, FRANCO

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be great to have our mommies here?
I totally relate! Especially to ask her health
questions..."were you like this?" "when did you..." "what got you through....." and more.
Hang in there, Va...this too, shall pass. Love
you much, Kel xo