He was headed to war. That sounds so cool, doesn't it? Full of drama. The morning #1 Son left for boot camp was drama enough as #2 Son genuinely choked up. He had to go though...there was no other choice. He was 22'ish and a lost dude. It took one of his friends to pull the covers off his head and shake him a bit - literally, OUT of the bed and into reality.
The Army isn't for everyone but I am here to vouch that it can indeed grow a boy into a man. We've witnessed the transformation and I'm thinking our armed forces may be wooing #2 Son. It could be the ticket he needs to help get his head on. Whatever is it about
(my sons) young men, that it takes time, so much time to figure it all out?
I believe there are no coincidences and every-single-thing is ordained by God and happens for a (specific) reason; I knew he had to go. It was all good - on my end. I had total peace that #1 Son was where he should be.
Him, not so much....There WERE many ups & downs while in.
(I tell these stories as many bloggers do in place of a journal.) We've come a long way - from the attitude, anger and anxiety of high school days to this season of restoration. I am on my knees, often, thanking God for the relationship My Guy and I have with our boy-man.
At almost-27, we talk. We enjoy one another. It's FUN to be together and even he is surprised at that. We have a deep connection - he'll often say: "Mom, you know me so well." It's strange to "know" our children - I venture to say, like no one else! We have that mother-child bonding when they are babies. Yet as the years move on and we witness playground protocol, finesse on the field (or lack thereof), drama in Drama, the minefield of first love...his person was formed. It's been a tough road - a long haul to get where we are today.
(Grandparents at Boot Camp Graduation)
He's been out several years now and I'd say... still not settled. But, it's ok. He'll get "there" when he gets there. Our relationship is good - he calls My Guy for car, finance and sports talk. He and I talk about chicks.
(Stella really is the love of his life...)
And so with Mother's Day rolling around; I focus on my boys vs. Mom since she's been gone fifteen years. Life has not been what I envisioned say 28/30 years ago; but as my profile states, "I don't do boring." And our home life has been anything BUT.
I had an hour-long phone call with a stranger two nights ago. A mutual friend told her I might be a good one to talk to. This dear woman is going through a lot and it's all new to her. She asked me "HOW?" I told her I would not have made it through parenting without my faith. God never promised it'd be easy; but He promises He'll be right beside us. And He has been. I've got a tattered piece of paper in my Bible with this quote:
"Children, both good and bad, are a part of the plan of God. He weaves their rebellion as well as their obedience into the pattern of grace for your life. The darker threads merely create the backdrop from which the golden cords form their patterns of character."
(Russell Kelfer, "If It Be So, Then Why")
And so character takes time to form - and I'm seeing it in #1 Son.
He even attempts imparting wisdom to his little brother. #2 Son's darker threads are showing more than his golden cords. But all in time right? Or perhaps it'll take booting another one off to The Army.
Here's to you both boys. It's a privilege to be your mother.