Follow Me on Pinterest

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Character(s) Takes Time!

He was headed to war.  That sounds so cool, doesn't it?  Full of drama.  The morning #1 Son left for boot camp was drama enough as #2 Son genuinely choked up.  He had to go though...there was no other choice.  He was 22'ish and a lost dude.  It took one of his friends to pull the covers off his head and shake him a bit - literally, OUT of the bed and into reality.  

The Army isn't for everyone but I am here to vouch that it can indeed grow a boy into a man.   We've witnessed the transformation and I'm thinking our armed forces may be wooing #2 Son.  It could be the ticket he needs to help get his head on.  Whatever is it about (my sons) young men, that it takes time, so much time to figure it all out? 

I believe there are no coincidences and every-single-thing is ordained by God and happens for a (specific) reason; I knew he had to go.  It was all good - on my end.  I had total peace that #1 Son was where he should be. 

Him, not so much....There WERE many ups & downs while in.

(I tell these stories as many bloggers do in place of a journal.)  We've come a long way - from the attitude, anger and anxiety of high school days to this season of restoration.  I am on my knees, often, thanking God for the relationship My Guy and I have with our boy-man.

At almost-27, we talk.  We enjoy one another.  It's FUN to be together and even he is surprised at that.  We have a deep connection - he'll often say:  "Mom, you know me so well."  It's strange to "know" our children - I venture to say, like no one else!   We have that mother-child bonding when they are babies.  Yet as the years move on and we witness playground protocol, finesse on the field (or lack thereof), drama in Drama, the minefield of first love...his person was formed.  It's been a tough road - a long haul to get where we are today. 

                                                       (Grandparents at Boot Camp Graduation)

He's been out several years now and I'd say... still not settled.  But, it's ok.  He'll get "there" when he gets there.  Our relationship is good - he calls My Guy for car, finance and sports talk.  He and I talk about chicks. 

                                       (Stella really is the love of his life...)
And so with Mother's Day rolling around; I focus on my boys vs. Mom since she's been gone fifteen years.   Life has not been what I envisioned say 28/30 years ago; but as my profile states, "I don't do boring."  And our home life has been anything BUT. 

I had an hour-long phone call with a stranger two nights ago.  A mutual friend told her I might be a good one to talk to.  This dear woman is going through a lot and it's all new to her.  She asked me "HOW?"  I told her I would not have made it through parenting without my faith.  God never promised it'd be easy; but He promises He'll be right beside us.  And He has been.  I've got a tattered piece of paper in my Bible with this quote:

"Children, both good and bad, are a part of the plan of God.  He weaves their rebellion as well as their obedience into the pattern of grace for your life.  The darker threads merely create the backdrop from which the golden cords form their patterns of character."

(Russell Kelfer, "If It Be So, Then Why")

And so character takes time to form - and I'm seeing it in #1 Son. 
He even attempts imparting wisdom to his little brother.  #2 Son's darker threads are showing more than his golden cords.  But all in time right?  Or perhaps it'll take booting another one off to The Army.

Here's to you both boys.  It's a privilege to be your mother.




Dianne said...

Excuse me while I get a kleenex! OMG Va, this one killed me because it is soooo true. It takes guys longer to figure life out. My son went off to college with all the same growing up to do. His university life almost killed me but we made it. Now he is right beside me helping to care for his sick father. Who knew the child whose hand I held so long would now be holding mine and telling me "It will be alright". Time passes and God listens and in the end...all is well.

Pam said...

Ok where to begin with this one...first of all..mother's day for me is more about me mothering my kids..rather than my own's a bittersweet day for me. And character does take a long time to form...maybe a lifetime. Some of us "get it" early...some much later. I envy some women who seem to have it all together in their 20's...I didn't get my crap together until much later. It's ok though..even though I'm still learning every day..I think I "get it". Maybe it's the therapy or the piles of self-help books I've read! ~ You are a great mom Va. Those boys of yours are lucky to have you for a mom....someday when we meet...I'm going to give you a big ol' hug! xoxo

Emily said...

Oh Vava, have a wonderful Mother's Day and hold on to whatever good memories may come! That top picture just kills me!!!!!!!!!

Vava (aka Virginia) said...

Em-the top pic is an absolute FAVE of mine!
Pam-you most def "get it" and have it together...can't wait to meet you IN PERSON!
Dianne-that Andy! What a joy, huh?

annette said...

One of the things I've always admired about you is your ability to put it in God's Hands as a mother. You are a such a good mom. And boys--our men now--know they want to get it right. Maybe that's what takes longer-where women can reinvent themselves, men feel like they have one big chance. Happy Mother's Day, sweet friend. I love your sharing real stuff here. It's powerful. Love you, Annette

Vava (aka Virginia) said...

Well, Annette you've been in my life long enough to KNOW about my boys. :) And I'm so thankful for your many, many prayers!!!!!! Love you so...

mary said...

Wow, this is so good Va!
As the mom of 1 young boy & 1 teen boy I am enlightened by your words & a little choked up. Thanks for sharing! Your boys are blessed to have you for their Mom!

pve design said...

Thanks for getting in touch with me, I shall pass your blog on to my sister. It is amazing how much we can learn from being kind, by sharing what we have experienced.
Good luck to both of your men!