It has to hurt...losing your right arm. Whether you were lovebirds or crankpots, losing a spouse after 67 years has to hurt. My father-in-law passed away two days ago and we're reeling and dealing with the many to-do's. Family and company heading this way, arrangements to make, pictures to sift through, words to put to paper.
There are three siblings and each is mourning differently. Then we have our Helen, the widow left behind. In the space of three and a half minutes she asked her daughter: "Where's Don?" And that was only three and a half minutes of the day. My Guy was asked a number of times where his dad was. Me too.
Our Helen has changed so much since 2004 when she and Her Guy informed us she had the beginnings of Alzheimer's. She has the nature of a sweet young girl. She smiles often and enjoys the human touch. She was a reserved person before the Alzheimer's. It seems there is a silver lining in everything, even in aging.
At 2:30 am My Guy and I found Our Helen in our bed. Smiling. She crawled in by her son and patted him. And smiled. My heart ached. My Guy is gentle with her now, but we all are because she deserves it. To see him tenderly give her cough medicine was a precious sight indeed.
Life for my mother-in-law has not been easy. She is from the old school and waited on her man like he was king. As an outsider speaking, uhhh, there were times when he didn't deserve such royal treatment. Yet, she rarely complained. It was what she knew. And what she did.
Although we are honoring the life of Don and will miss him terribly; I think it's time to honor Our Helen.
She's always been in the background you know. It's her time. Time to treat her like a queen and wait on her. Not that she craves, expects, or wants such attention. All she wants is Her Don.