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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Our Helen

It has to hurt...losing your right arm.  Whether you were lovebirds or crankpots, losing a spouse after 67 years has to hurt.   My father-in-law passed away two days ago and we're reeling and dealing with the many to-do's.  Family and company heading this way, arrangements to make, pictures to sift through, words to put to paper. 

There are three siblings and each is mourning differently.  Then we have our Helen, the widow left behind.  In the space of three and a half minutes she asked her daughter:  "Where's Don?"  And that was only three and a half minutes of the day.  My Guy was asked a number of times where his dad was.  Me too. 

Our Helen has changed so much since 2004 when she and Her Guy informed us she had the beginnings of Alzheimer's.  She has the nature of a sweet young girl.  She smiles often and enjoys the human touch.  She was a reserved person before the Alzheimer's.  It seems there is a silver lining in everything, even in aging.

At 2:30 am My Guy and I found Our Helen in our bed.  Smiling.  She crawled in by her son and patted him.  And smiled.  My heart ached.  My Guy is gentle with her now, but we all are because she deserves it. To see him tenderly give her cough medicine was a precious sight indeed.

Life for my mother-in-law has not been easy.  She is from the old school and waited on her man like he was king.  As an outsider speaking, uhhh, there were times when he didn't deserve such royal treatment.  Yet, she rarely complained.  It was what she knew.  And what she did.

Although we are honoring the life of Don and will miss him terribly; I think it's time to honor Our Helen.



She's always been in the background you know.  It's her time.  Time to treat her like a queen and wait on her.  Not that she craves, expects, or wants such attention.  All she wants is Her Don.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very nice, Virgina. Well put. - cj

Emily said...

So touching and beautifully written Va. Bless Helen, your queen.

MA said...

My heart is with all of you.
Helen is a queen.
Love you my dear, MA

Kim said...

You are the best VA. Simply the best. Love, Kim

moondiva said...

Oh Vava...so beautiful of a dil to write this. Any woman that Stella and Duke love so much..must be a wonderful person. With you in spirit..xoxo Deborah

mary said...

So beautifully written Va. God has blessed Helen with all of you in her life. ♥

Dianne said...

My dear,dear friend....YOU are the blessing to this family!!!! How beautifully written this is...your way with words always amazes me. Your giant heart is even more amazing. Your love for your guy will guide him through this loss.I know you feel lucky to have shared this family but they are soooo lucky to call you their own! xoxo

CC said...

Virginia, this hits straight to the heart. What a beautiful tribute to Miss Helen. I agree with Dianne...YOU are a blessing to the family.
Love ya much~

Lindad Mallis said...

Oh Virginia - I know all too well how much Helen deserves to be honored. She has certainly put in a life time of "dues". God bless her as she finds a place of peace without her Don. That family hit the lotto when they got you in their family. Hugs, kisses, lots of love and prayers to the entire Johnson family.

Denise said...

This is so beautiful, Virginia.... You always have such a way with words, but this is so much more. What a tribute to Helen - she must be one amazing woman to have YOU love her so much. I'm so sorry for the loss that you, Gary and Helen have suffered. May God bless you all - BIG. xoxo

Diane said...

Love you Virginia...you are a wonderful woman and I am so sorry for your loss.
May Helen be treated as a queen; she is one special lady!
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
xoxoxo
Diane

sewmuchwhimsy said...

Beautiful, perfectly beautiful...your post, Helen, and YOU! oxoxo Gretchen

catie said...

so sweet.
so tender.
{will you please be my daughter-in-law?}
love & hugs to beautiful helen ♥

Sandi said...

Sweet Va...You have expressed yourself so beautifully here, and have honored Helen in a loving, tender, heart-felt way. (and you have made us smile, as you always seem to do...how DO you do that?... ) :) Ah.. yes.. it is one of your many loving gifts. Thank you for sharing it once again with us. We love you. God bless you, Gary, Helen and the rest of your family as you process this loss, and all the changes that will come with it. with love, San

Pam said...

oh Va. Your words are beautiful. And how I love that sweet Helen was "old school" Nothing wrong with old school if I say so myself. I'm thinking of you. I'm sure these next few days will be emotional and busy and well..just know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers tonight. xoxo

Kelly said...

Va, this is the sweetest tribute. Helen is beautiful and does not look her age! Bless her heart. I pray for you all and so sorry about your loss. Hugs all around, Love, Kel.

Carrie said...

This is a beautiful blog Virginia. Helen does deserve the very best. What a picture of loyalty to be married for 67 years. That is inspiring and something to be admired.

Anonymous said...

So sweet that Stella and Duke surround dear Helen. they know. This is the time that brings us all together to celebrate the life and mourn the loss. So glad they all have you. much love, FRANCO

LLH Designs said...

Such a sweet post. I love the way you are honoring your husband's mother here. She's blessed to have YOU in her life!

Xo,
Linsey