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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Out of the Deep!

5 AM:  I weigh 500 pounds. It's hard to walk, I am drowning...in deep water.  Or so it feels.

My heart and soul are heavy and forced me to stay put today.  It is a work day; but I simply cannot. I sit here with a late cup of coffee....it's normally at 5 am not 10 am.  

10 AM:  Joining me is my grand-dog, Lucy, a pit bull.  #1 Son has trained her up well.  I cannot tell you how much I love this dog. She knows what's going on (and the other dogs do too!!). Canines know us, feel us, and I believe, empathize with us.

I walked into the sun room to quiet my heavy heart---planning to read and just be blah. And, there sat Lucy, with her blue eyes, staring me down. After loving on her  a bit, sipping hot coffee and reading Shauna's latest post, I'm swimming upward from the deep

I've got a couple of beautiful boys.  One is shiny, the other is tarnished.  Shiny son owns Lucy.  When he introduced her to me a couple years ago, I was petrified.  Really nervous about her.  She IS a pit bull.

We are dog-sitting for a while and I welcome her.  She makes my dogs look like buffoons!  Lucy is well mannered and loving.  As I was petting her, the words "beauty for ashes" played in my mind. The world fears pit bulls; yet they can be beautiful if loved and trained correctly.  Beauty for ashes.



I am praying for #2 Son - that his ashes will be restored to beauty.

11:30 AM:  ...thankful for coffee, the beautiful light in our home at 10 am, dogs' unconditional love, and for days to take care of oneself.  Thank You, Lord, for new minutes, and hours  - You Who pulls us from the deep.

Onward & UPward........
xoxo




10 comments:

moondiva said...

Oh sweet Vava...here's my hand to lift you up!! Love you..prayers continue. Lucy and the gang a pat from me! xoxo Deb

Debi Morton said...

Oh, Virginia! How it hurts me to know you are hurting so. And how I remember that pain from when my own son was going through a "tarnished" period. God did bring beauty from ashes in his situation, a little faster than He is doing with your precious one, so we continue to pray for your dear one. And yes, friend, I pray for you. God knows your pain, as you know so well, and how gracious He is to give you days like today when you can take care of yourself a bit and lean on Him.

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear VAVA I can't imagine your pain. You are so resourceful and so bright but even with those tools there are days like today. How long can you continue trading yours and Gary's life for the chaos of #2? Who has the answer to that question? Oh my. All I can offer is love, hope, & prayers. With no kiddos, I can't even offer the voice of experience. Be careful, be safe, watch out for yourselves! Many hugs, much love, puppy dog kisses!
Franco & the boys

Emily said...

I'm so glad Deb directed me to your blog today.
I too, hate to see you suffer. You are always so optimistic, grateful and upbeat. But guess what? You are also human, and somedays you just need to be "blah" or even have a small pity party. Your ongoing strength amazes me, and I know you will have days where it is in full force, but for now, rest dear one and just "be". I know your faith helps you through these times, and I am so in awe of your dedication. I'm hear, and I'm listening.....and I am glad Lucy us there to give you comfort.

MA said...


Hello Sweet Friend -
Word has it that you aren't your buoyant self today. :) Well, we can't have that! What a joy your Lucy is for you - and your other pups as well. I whooshing a hug to you this evening and hoping things have brightened a little. You truly are an inspiration with you strength and wisdom. But, as Em said, some days just aren't that great. :( Know that you are in our thoughts and have a peaceful night. Love,
MA

Dianne said...

Wow can you write! Your words always move me, so clear and so beautiful even when life is not. You know I love you. You know I am praying. Rest your weary heart and soul, tomorrow will be better. xo

gretchen said...

You never cease to amaze and inspire. Not because you are perfect, but because you allow yourself to show your vulnerability. That is quite a gift you give to all of us. Love to you and Lucy tonight. xoxo

catie said...

sending you a raft of love from las vegas.
xo catie

Anonymous said...

I forgot to tell you that if I was little enuf I would crawl in that bed with Lucy and hug her as well. She is so comfy!!! Angel baby.....F

Pam said...

oh my dear friend.
know that you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

you are an AMAZING woman AND mother.
keep doing what you're doing.
love you!
xo