Character(s) Takes Time!

He was headed to war.  That sounds so cool, doesn't it?  Full of drama.  The morning #1 Son left for boot camp was drama enough as #2 Son genuinely choked up.  He had to go though...there was no other choice.  He was 22'ish and a lost dude.  It took one of his friends to pull the covers off his head and shake him a bit - literally, OUT of the bed and into reality.  

The Army isn't for everyone but I am here to vouch that it can indeed grow a boy into a man.   We've witnessed the transformation and I'm thinking our armed forces may be wooing #2 Son.  It could be the ticket he needs to help get his head on.  Whatever is it about (my sons) young men, that it takes time, so much time to figure it all out? 

I believe there are no coincidences and every-single-thing is ordained by God and happens for a (specific) reason; I knew he had to go.  It was all good - on my end.  I had total peace that #1 Son was where he should be. 

Him, not so much....There WERE many ups & downs while in.

(I tell these stories as many bloggers do in place of a journal.)  We've come a long way - from the attitude, anger and anxiety of high school days to this season of restoration.  I am on my knees, often, thanking God for the relationship My Guy and I have with our boy-man.

At almost-27, we talk.  We enjoy one another.  It's FUN to be together and even he is surprised at that.  We have a deep connection - he'll often say:  "Mom, you know me so well."  It's strange to "know" our children - I venture to say, like no one else!   We have that mother-child bonding when they are babies.  Yet as the years move on and we witness playground protocol, finesse on the field (or lack thereof), drama in Drama, the minefield of first love...his person was formed.  It's been a tough road - a long haul to get where we are today. 

                                                       (Grandparents at Boot Camp Graduation)

He's been out several years now and I'd say... still not settled.  But, it's ok.  He'll get "there" when he gets there.  Our relationship is good - he calls My Guy for car, finance and sports talk.  He and I talk about chicks. 

                                       (Stella really is the love of his life...)

And so with Mother's Day rolling around; I focus on my boys vs. Mom since she's been gone fifteen years.   Life has not been what I envisioned say 28/30 years ago; but as my profile states, "I don't do boring."  And our home life has been anything BUT. 

I had an hour-long phone call with a stranger two nights ago.  A mutual friend told her I might be a good one to talk to.  This dear woman is going through a lot and it's all new to her.  She asked me "HOW?"  I told her I would not have made it through parenting without my faith.  God never promised it'd be easy; but He promises He'll be right beside us.  And He has been.  I've got a tattered piece of paper in my Bible with this quote:

"Children, both good and bad, are a part of the plan of God.  He weaves their rebellion as well as their obedience into the pattern of grace for your life.  The darker threads merely create the backdrop from which the golden cords form their patterns of character."

(Russell Kelfer, "If It Be So, Then Why")

And so character takes time to form - and I'm seeing it in #1 Son. 

He even attempts imparting wisdom to his little brother.  #2 Son's darker threads are showing more than his golden cords.  But all in time right?  Or perhaps it'll take booting another one off to The Army.

Here's to you both boys.  It's a privilege to be your mother.

xoxo

 

Slow Down, Soul Sisters!

I'm not one to think life (or anything) should be handed to me on a silver platter.  Ms. Browning's new book deserves to be on one!  Half the blogosphere has been awating the continuation of Dominique Browning's life!  It's a treasure and worth savoring - which means I'm taking my time.

She works it - everything: her garden, her piano, her home, her relationships.  Yet she does it (all) without haste.

                                                 (A little patch of my garden)
Thus, the title of her book "SLOW...."  After reading it for a bit, I gently close the darling and sit still.  Her musings, words mull around my head and heart.  I have a new set of eyes.

I take pleasure and walk through my home and "see" it. 

                                                                       (My front hall)
And, that's it - it's mine and if it pleases me who cares?  Well, I try to please My Guy.  After reading Around the House and in The Garden, and about Ms. Browning's quirky kitchen couch; well, 
h-e-l-l-o lovely!   I tried.  Oh, how I tried but could only fit a chair in mine.  Mom's chair has been a resident in my kitchen six months or so.  I get the funniest comments...however, it seems to be THE favorite seat in there! 

                                                                (Mom's chair in my kitchen)
I wonder if Ms. Browning grasps the magnitude of her influence.  Her books force us outside, and outside our box.  My yard is better off because of her.  My soul is more awake.  Does that make sense? 

xoxo

Trampolines & Tough Love

Just wondering if you've had to do "the hard thing"?   Something counter-intuitive to all you know.  I have; well, still am!  And  I'd say Mom did by moving all of us from Connecticut to Texas.  In my (foolish) youth, I was resentful and thought my world was ending.   As an 8th grader in a new school, a new state as a newly divorced 13 year old (well, I wasn't divorced; my folks were)....I wanted to die.  That may be a tad dramatic but 13 year old girls do love drama.  My Speech teacher made me stand in front of the class and said:  "...this is how we do NOT speak." It was humiliating enough that I told Mom I hated Texas.  We were considered odd-birds - funny accents whose mom was (too) attractive and newly divorced. That "D" word was a phenomonon in the early '60s. Guess we were not only odd but rare birds. It was difficult.

Until she bought a trampoline.  If your kids are floundering in friendships; I'd recommend buying one.  I made some friends...dear ones who are still in my life. 

Sometimes parents have to do what it takes to hold the fam together.  I now understand Mom had to get away from it all.  Scandal and heartbreak moved her out west. 

My Guy and I are in a hard place right now.  We've had to disconnect from #2 Son - and wow, what a journey.  As resentful as I was in the 8th grade; I can imagine what our son feels.  Maybe 20 years from now we'll be reconciled...

Jumping on a trampoline would sure be fun right about now.  OR have Mom by my side.   I'd fix her an iced coffee and huddle to talk about our "hard thing."  It's not over and at this moment very much present. 

"....I want my mommy!" 

I'll Take (Just) One!

 

Give me:

• 
  
  a movie date with My Guy
• 
  
  a garage sale in Amarillo (with my sis-in-law)
• 
  
  Christmas
• 
  
  the book I can't put down
• 
  
  a view of water
• 
  
  time with family & friends

 

(intentionally blurred to protect the innocent...)

• 
  
  Karaoke
• 
  
  a new taste treat (Manchego cheese!)
• 
  
  MUSIC
• 
  
  gut wrenching laughter
• 
  
  And when you can get oh 6 out of 10 in ONE weekend,

well, h-e-l-l-o!

(I've got to rest now...)

xoxo

Life CAN be a bowlful of...

Good stuff!  Pardon me if I harp on (the JOY of!!) empty nesting again.  I suppose it's all relative - a friend of mine has a daughter.  She and her girl are thick as thieves and that daughter prefers home.  To hanging out with her peers.  Our home hasn't had that "draw"..perhaps since 1993.  Is it boys?  I don't care enough to psychoanalyze that. 

So, I'm puttering in my kitchen; cleaning a bowl of berries, contemplating what I can throw together for din-din.  My Guy really loves dinner.  And appreciates it.  But....I AM an empty nester and cooking for two is losing its appeal.  A lot of it is the fact that I HATE eating late.  I'd rather not eat (unless a bowl of popcorn is forced upon me) than eat past 7:30.  And when My Guy runs, it's a late night.  The poor dear ran his tail off yesterday and came in hungry.  It's a bad sign when there's no pot steaming, boiling, roasting or baking.  I'll give you a little insight into how relaxed we are.  He enters the pantry, studies it a while and declares there's not much going on in there.  I suggest our "go-to" sandwich.  He knew what that was!  "A grilled cheese?"  "Yup!"  The most amazing part is that AFTER he wolfed it down he said "thanks" and that it was good!  We ARE indeed living a different life. 

I digress - back to my bowl of berries.  Such beauty in nature; whether from the store or the earth.  In my prayer time this morning, I asked that my eyes be open to His blessings.  Life is simple at this point in time.  I am thankful the house is still.  And this morning - oh, my goodness, let me SHOUT, "Thank You, Lord for a picture perfect morning!"  It was sunny and cool and heavenly.  I thoroughly enjoyed pulling weeds, planting (a few) tomato plants and other goodies. 

Before I planted I had a grand time at my local Lowe's.  Dear Chester was a wealth of information on whether to use aluminum or steel for a project.  I {{{LOVE}}} excellent customer service! 

My current reflecting is maybe due to wearing this Saturday night:

...and a friend telling me this MUST be my signature piece and to never take it off.  "This" was a wedding gift 32 1/2 years ago from my grandmother, Mimi.  Attached to it was an octagonal charm (LARGE at that!) with semi-precious jewels.  Hhhhmmm....at 22 years of age, I had zippo appreciation.  I tucked it away.  About 15 years ago, I removed the charm and it became a lovely bracelet.  I don't wear it (enough) but plan to starting now.  So, you can see...I had to GROW into it.  I appreciate it now; just like I do my quiet home.  So much good stuff can go on when we grow bigger and our household grows smaller.  

It is the little things.  Like a fabric flower pinned to a (plain) cardigan.

A belly laugh - almost embarrassing ourselves...

Reconnecting with a friend as if no time had passed

A worship song at church that takes you higher

Dirt under my fingernails

Anticipation of a weekend away

Dancing with My Guy

Sleeping with the window open

A pedicure...

There's just a whole lotta GOOD STUFF out there. 

I do so hope your eyes are open - we don't want to miss a thing!

xoxo

Face Lift(ed) Anyone?

I'm a wimp.  I don't like pain so a face lift is not on my agenda. Not even Botox. I won't pay someone to scrape my face either (however, a daily "mini-peel" by Olay is just the ticket!).  We are bombarded by media, magazines and make-up!  So, yea, I do slap an occasional egg white on my face as shown on a previous post.  I am a product junkie but no knives or needles thank you very much.

Life at this "certain age" has bennies.  Four years ago at 50 I (finally) came into my own.  I'd say comfy with who I am.  Over many years, it took some doing and some reading, some studying, some counseling, and a whole lot of praying.  In all of that reading, one book sticks out the most and it didn't make Oprah's book club.  It's The Bible. 

By reading it, it promises:

• revival of the soul
• making us wise
• joy to the heart
• light to the eyes
• a great reward

Who needs a face lift?  Give me a refreshed soul with a light in my eye and joy in my heart (for free and PAIN-free).  Sad to say I am not a member of the Mensa Society.  Yet who doesn't want to be wiser?  Even I am promised these gifts!  THAT gets me fired up!

Friends and acquaintances in my daily life know trouble: financial, medical, marital, family, child, health, career....the list goes on and on.  These (certain) women depend on one thing only.  And IT brings out their beauty, joy and serenity that no prescription could fill.  No beauty treatment could put the glow on like this.

Many years ago I went to a women's conference.  One of the speakers was in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down.  On break we lined up at her book table.  I said to my friend:  "look at her face.  She glows!"  She informed me that would be The Holy Spirit in her.  Aha!  That was a new concept to me and I wanted it. 

Today I read Psalm 19:7-11 again and it DID just what it said...revived my soul.  There are a ton of GREAT books out there - positive, self-helpers.  But I would venture to say, that most everyone has a Bible.  By reading it...if only 15 minutes a day, our face lifted to Him...I promise that no matter how you LOOK, your heart and soul will be revived.  You may not have to run out for the latest product.  Well, YOU may not have to but I probably will.  I can't help myself.

... and I'll give it my best to have my face lifted...daily, if possible.  It's good for the soul!

Easter Love

Our Easter brunch was to begin at 11:00.  When were we ready for company?  10:59.  Time management is not a fine-tuned skill of (mine) and My Guy.  You'd think as a CPA timeliness would be of the essence.  Not around the house.  Or in the yard.  The poor dear was shoveling pea gravel off the flagstone to another location for three hours on Easter morning.  Nothing like "an event" to motivate one to hack at your to-do list.  I LOVE seeing the fruit of My-Guy-Chores completed!  He does not complain...ever.  He just does it.  I see!  It doesn't bother HIM - it only bothers me!

The weather cooperated and we were able to dine outdoors.  A bit of Tuscany in Texas!

This past winter was not kind to our grass; but you can see some green sprouts.  The vine covering the pergola is three years old and looks like a three year old: bursting forth, unruly and out of control. 

My Guy needed something as a reward for all his hard work.  Nephew and wife brought a few mixings.  They are young, hip (happen to be gorgeous) and know how to make a lovely Bloody Mary.


He looks much better without a shovel and a wheelbarrow!

The food cooking, Sirrius Coffee House music playing while all are stuffed into the kitchen is HEAVEN!  I love gatherings.  We gathered around the island to say grace and dug in.  A new item was on the menu, Blackberry French Toast and was well received.  Some could not stop.  I mean really.  Like he said he could just put his face in it.  He did!

                                         (Saint Steve and new friend, Blackberry French Toast)

It's rare in these parts to enjoy outside dining.  And that's why I felt rather Tuscan-y.  Under a pergola, a fountain splish-splashing, a cool breeze. 

We had to set two tables but it worked well.  Can you spot the high and the low of said tables?

Oh, don't be concerned.  Those are not wine bottles.  Well, they are wine BOTTLES with water in them.  Soak labels off your white wine bottles and fill them with water.  When you march them down your table, it's a ready made centerpiece. 

My Guy may be known as not-so-timely BUT he also has the reputation of The Dish Washer.  And, again...he does not bemoan the title.  He just gets in the kitchen and does it.  I love that man!  We played Left, Center, Right (a dice game) which is about the only game out of three/four that I can (or WANT to) play.  I'm NOT a game girl.  LCR is easy and fun.

By 2:15 the guests said they were stuffed, satisfied and had to get on with their day.  A couple of folks had to be stirred to move on. 

                                                                  (Easter Overload)

The sermon on Maundy Thursday began:  "What is the quality of your love?''  It's had me thinking these past three days.  We are to love like Jesus.  Everyone.  No matter who they are, what they do or say.  I find it hard sometimes...to love unconditionally. 

Today was a day of love.  Between me and My Guy.  In my kitchen with family and friends.  And even between Steve and Duke.

I hope that you and yours dined well, enjoyed one another and loved. 

xoxo